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Monday, November 9th, 2009
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Q. WHY WOULD SOMEONE AS AWESOME AS CECIL HOTBAKE LOVE A LOSER?
A. SHE DOESN'T.
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Wednesday, November 4th, 2009
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Wednesday, October 28th, 2009
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I can forgive people wholly if I care about them. I can forgive people superficially to keep the peace and get my way if I don't. I'm a kind, nurturing, understanding person MOST of the time, which means I've practised enough to be good at pretending to be kind, nurturing and understanding the rest of the time. Oooh, sneaky!
-cecil
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Comments: Read 1 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, October 27th, 2009
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Things I am never eating or watching anybody else eat ever EVER AGAIN:
ricotta
actually especially ricotta but pretty much any kind of cheese or non dairy cheese substistute ever
white sauce
pizza
creamy pasta of any kind, but especially macaroni and cheese
scrambled egg
scrambled tofu
mashed potato
any thai food that has straggly bits of egg or tofu in it
tartare sauce
french onion dip
guacamole
hummous
cheesecake of any kind
whipped cream or substitute
cauliflower.
Until today, I thought that smegma was a dumb slang word for semen. Until. Today.
The Wikipedia article has pictures.
D:
-cecil
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Comments: Read 2 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, October 9th, 2009
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This level reach of blue is not my sea;
Here are sweet waters, pretty in the sun,
Whose quiet ripples meet obediently
A marked and measured line, one after one.
This is no sea of mine. that humbly laves
Untroubled sands, spread glittering and warm.
I have a need of wilder, crueler waves;
They sicken of the calm, who knew the storm.
So let a love beat over me again,
Loosing its million desperate breakers wide;
Sudden and terrible to rise and wane;
Roaring the heavens apart; a reckless tide
That casts upon the heart, as it recedes,
Splinters and spars and dripping, salty weeds.
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Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, September 29th, 2009
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alright so (wow i just got really weird déjà vu) birthday was awesome! i got this and this from mum, a CD from dad, a slip from Nat, a necklace from Kat and apparently there's one more to come even. whoa!
awesome birthday dinner and drinks thanks to ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) matt_hell . then paradise city for the first time ever, i was expecting it to be way busier but i still got shitfaced and had fun hahaha. we got a bit too excited and it ended a bit late but can't do much about it now.
thursday ruby came over with cake and beer and we all watched brian regan and stephen lynch, fucking best ever.
then saturday was blick chirry, saw fucking EVERYONE which was awesometimes. I looked really hot but alas no photos.
that's about it really. worst update ever.
-cec
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Comments: Read 6 or Add Your Own.
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Friday, September 25th, 2009
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(birthday update soon, I just need to get this off my chest)
Why I fucked a clown I'll never know.
Well I did know: he was an attractive clown, he seemed (emphasis on SEEMED) like a nice clown, and I like the cock. He was also a magician, cue 'good with his hands' jokes, wtfever. He was a former model, which I don't normally touch as they're far too fey for my tastes ninety percent of the time, but he was more classically good looking masculine cheekboney model than "i'm sorry but I can't be attracted to someone who wears jeans two sizes smaller than me" model. He was charming and funny and sweet. I could overlook the scrolldown fug fedora, blazer, jeans, HOLY SHIT DIRTY RUNNING SHOES outfit for the sake of a fuck. We had sex. It was... not unpleasant. He dropped me home.
He also never called or texted again. This I did not have a problem with, he may have been handsome, funny, charming and sweet, but playing Californication by the Red Hot Chili Peppers was most definitely a dealbreaker and I knew that we had nothing in common. It would never have worked.
BUT THEN.
Around 8 months later, give or take, and on my birthday no less, I recieve a text from him. Birthday greeting? Wrong number? Ha. All correspondence to be posted by His Doucheness has been left in its gloriously crap-spelling-crap-grammar -crap-"you forgot a word" form.
"Want to catch for a coffee? -douchey the magi" (apparently he's a Zoroastrian too.)
I didn't reply until the next day, after some friends with more Douchesperience for advice. Apparently (kindof obviously, really), all this can mean is that he has some news to break to me involving warts or similar that he's recently found in his douchebag procreation regions. Shitting my pants at the thought of contracting douchemydia, genital douchebags or the dreaded Hepatits Douche, I followed the advice of aforementioned friends and politely messaged the guy to ask him what his motives were.
AHEM.
"Well I'm in newtown and have no place to stay the night. I moved out prematurely before I fly to india for 4 months"
FOLLOWED BY.
"And I still have fond memory of you being friendly and fun. More than happy to buy you a couple of beers for a bed"
WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK SHIT DOUCHEBAG KINDOF DOUCHESLUT DO YOU THINK I FUCKING AM YOU EPIC EPIC CUNT.
Did you guys read this? Are you comprehending this shit? I've had more than my share of booty calls but on what fucking planet does a guys douchey douche overinflated magician clown jogging shoe-wearing RHCP listening asshole DOUCHEBAG DOUCHEBAG DOUCHEBAG CUNT think this shit would actually fly. I could be nice and put his International Student English down to actual trisomie 21 retardation, but really, I'm pretty sure that because I happened to put out on the first date this fucker has decided that a booty call 8 months after the booty is actually ok, and that FOR SURE i'd put out and share my bed for alcohol for some cunt who never bothered to call.
I was going to blow him off but I think that perhaps I should show a little compassion and give him exactly what he wants. I'll give him my bed and all the cumstains and cats that go with it. Then I'll piss off to matt's, watch some dvds, have some "a damned sight better than not unpleasant" sex and leave him, in my house, in the care of my lovely housemate John, who after being briefed on The Story of Doucheness will be sure to show him some good old fashioned...hospitality.
In closing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmS-GqWKzn8
- Cecil "If there's a smile on my face, it's only because I castrated a douchebag " Hotbake.
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Comments: Read 16 or Add Your Own.
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Monday, August 17th, 2009
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Check it out! pincurls that turned out uncrappy!
( sproii-i-i-i-ng... )
yay. now i just need somewhere to wear 'em, all this set really saw was a walk on erko road in the rain on the way to matt_hell's place and somehow i'm guessing that he wasn't exactly the best person to show off fancy-pants hair to. maybe i'll go to the 50s fair but 40s totally kicks the 50s ass.
shit's been happening but i can't really be fucked writing about it.
later,
-cec.
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Comments: Read 10 or Add Your Own.
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Tuesday, December 23rd, 2008
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· · · — — — · · · · · · — — — · · · · · · — — — · · ·
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Friday, October 10th, 2008
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Monday, September 22nd, 2008
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so i got money for my birthday.
"hi i'm cecil and i totes hate capitalism and the corporate machine and i'm sooooo left-wing pinko non-voting dirty anarchist libertarian and you guys are all sheep and i'm vegan and awesome and shit and don't fall prey to advertising and consumerism and OOOOOOOHHHH LOOK, SHOES AND LUXURY PERFUME!"
i am a dickhead. but i'm a nice-smelling dickhead with hot shoes?
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Comments: Add Your Own.
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. . nah don't worry i haven't sold out its just for modesty reasons in old joy div shirt. approx conversation with housemate (lisoc ) last night:
me: omfg billy zane and sherilyn fenn this is too much. ah crap sorry my tit's hanging out.
her: hahaha all good dude. OMG he picked her up awww omg they're gonna make out fuck fuck fuck
me: EEEEEEEEE ferret look at it go! *sip* ah my tit's hanging out.
her: dude hurry up and finish your beer, the one i got you will go warm. oh, your tit's hanging out again
me: ah fuck thanks man. ahh fuck it's late i might go to bed after this one
her: tit's hanging out.
awww :(
------------------------------------------------------------------
REFLECTIONS ON A SESSEL.
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ok so newsish, i am 21 tomorrow. i also celebrated my one year cecilversary on the 11th of september.
i was always used to it from friends before but i've grown so accustomed to it that anything else is weird. both parents call me cecil but i was hanging out with distant relatives & me pa for a beer because dad RAN A FUCKING MARATHON THAT'S 42 FUCKING KILOMETRES yesterday who were all introduced to me as Ashleigh. they kept Ashleigh-ing me and i was actually really weirded out by it. it's just. . .not my name anymore hey. so strange that it only took a year to just. . .not really answer to it anymore. distant rellos are a bit really fucking dumb so dad and i just don't really bother trying to explain it anymore. it goes like this generally:
them: so why did you do it?
me: felt like it.
them: so your last and first name?
me: yeah.
them: so what made you do that?
me: dunno, felt like it.
them: but it's a boy's name
me: yer i know.
them: *looks at me suspecting lesbianism*
me: i'm gonna get another drink.
them: but what about being a gustard or a stewart?
me: i wasn't either.
them: but carrying on family names and crap!
me: didn't have one.
them: so this name change thing: how come?
me: felt like it.
AD NAUSEAM.
the constant mispronounciations are always funny. usually it's like "so cecille?" "cecil, yeah." "ok cecille".
my doctor pronounces it like set-sel, rhyming with pretzel. i don't mind that actually, it makes me sound fizzy. alka-setzel. fizzygood make feel nice. i think i should just change it again to cesspool fuckbake. MISPRONOUNCE THAT, ASSCLOWNS.
that and if i had a dollar for every time i heard "cecil! that was my granddad's name!", i would have about. . . . ten bucks. hahaha it is truly a grandfatherly name.
in closing, nina hagen + lene lovich + cheesy animal rights song = simultaneously ridiculous and AWESOME. hahahahah 'dun kill thee animalz don kill thee animalz' hahahha lamest ever. but.. .nina hagen. and look at those outfits. i would have shat my pants over them in year 11. hahahahahhahah it's so tacky and amzing. hahhaha GEESE IT HAS GEESE hhahhahaahhahhaha!!
ahhhhhh i love them but this is fucken hilarious. oh god. GOOGLY EYES! RAPPING! PILES OF RIBBONS! ANIMAL LIB!!! HAHAHHAHA
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Comments: Read 10 or Add Your Own.
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